Oh Captain, My Captain!

I've been waffling on what to write about next. I was thinking about writing the next event that helped contribute to the depression I've been working under, but the news of Robin Williams suicide really struck me. I'm not a huge Robin Williams fan, but I have seen several of his movies and TV shows, talk show appearances, and some of his stand up. I think he may be one of the most universally appreciated and watched of celebrity deaths in my memory.

Among the many tributes I have seen on social media, perhaps the one I liked the best comes from Dead Poets Society. I'm not a big fan of poetry. At risk of sounding like an uneducated clod, I would rather not have much to do with poetry. Still, this is an inspirational movie. It is a story of a teacher who is able to touch his students and make a difference in their lives. It is sadly more tragic now. One of the teacher's students commits suicide, costing the teacher his job. Robin Williams' teacher is a little bit of the coach I would like to be. Poetry (or volleyball) might be what is taught, but the lessons go beyond that and touch on character, integrity and what kind of a man I want to be.

One of the headlines I saw mentioned how he had been suffering "deep depression". This information was sobering. I haven't fallen into depression so deep that I entertained the thought of suicide, but this just makes depression that much more real. If the circumstances were a little different, if I didn't have a wife that helped me see the reality of my situation, if some of life's little twists and turns went that little bit closer to the brink, I might be entertaining those thoughts. To see someone so ridiculously talented, and on the surface so successful (with no less than 4 upcoming movies) fall under the weight of this very real, very significant condition, I have to stop and take inventory. I can't fathom the difficulties he faced, and how depression warped those difficulties into the monster that took his life. I look at the difficulties I face, and I wonder. Financially, I am way worse off, but money isn't the only stressor out there.

Hopefully I can spot those difficulties and stressors and find a way to address them. I'm sad that Robin Williams couldn't address his. I will be able to look back at his life's work and find smiles, laughter and joy. He still may be able to touch others fighting depression and lift them up with laughter. Maybe we can help lift someone up as well.