I Don't Think So, Tim

There is a sentiment that I see expressed every so often that either amuses me or bugs me, or both. It is expressed out of frustration over men not paying enough meaningful attention to women in social interactions. It's the idea that men are blind, dumb, or intimidated by the magnificence of the woman lending words to her frustration. Perhaps it is at some sort of social event designed to encourage meeting and laying the foundations for relationships. The woman in question doesn't get the attention that she feels she deserves and goes back to her friends (or Facebook) and talks about it. It might be something about how the guys there aren't initiating any conversation, asking her to dance, or something of that ilk. Usually it is accompanied by some sort of broad judgement on the men there. They're stupid, or blind, or frightened, or some other nonsense.

While I won't argue that some there would be guilty of some, and perhaps all, of those things, it is sadly amusing to me. For one thing, I would imagine the typical guy has a very different set of goals with regards to the event. He might not be there to make friends and forge lasting relationships. Even if he is, he might be looking for something very different. Chances are he IS looking for something very different. I think that is the root of what amuses/bugs me about the practice. Often the woman expressing the frustration, while she might be a wonderful human being, a saint even, she might not be someone a lot of guys are out there seeking to find. And that isn't even talking about a woman's physical appearance, and all those standby dumb guy things. It just might be that the lady is all kinds of crazy, and the guys there can see it, even if it is just subconsciously.

The other big part of it that bugs me is this. It is 2012, ladies. If you are getting all miffed because a bunch of guys ignored you at the big dance, stop living in the past. It is socially acceptable to ask a guy to dance, or strike up a conversation, or whatever. Give yourself the chance. Don't sit there and moan that guys are afraid to talk to you because of your incomparable glory and majesty. Talk to the ones you are interested in. If it is the prince who traded places with the pauper, and he happens to be a little intimidated to start talking to you, you just might do both of you a favor. At the very least you will find out if you are off the reservation and maybe ought to work on getting your crap together.